More than Just Pounds

I compiled a few pictures from each month of my 165 hikes in 2023, enjoy!

I had a rough week of trying to eat an average of right under 1700 calories and decided to redo my goal with the app and realized that I had chosen the wrong exercise level before.  So, I adjusted that to "hard" because I do anywhere from 6-8 hours a week of intense hiking, dancing and then weight lifting and "moderate" was probably not the right selection.

After adjusting my exercise level and putting 2275 as my maintenance average, it put me up around 1900 calories, which sounds so much better for me!  Here are my new ranges:

I do the Plant-Based setting and I have my protein where I personally need it to be.  I also need more carbs than most people because of my 4 hikes a week.  And, I like to eat a good amount of healthy fats in the form of nuts, avocado, olive oil and of course cheese!

On my old scale, I was down 1 pound and on my new scale I was down about half a pound.  But the best news is that my body is shrinking - I lost 2 1/4 inches off my body this week!

Neck -1/2 inch
Under Bust -1/2 inch

I have waited most of the year to be able to pay for the Carbon Diet Coach app and finally was able to!  I've only used it for 2 days but already find it much easier to use than MyFitnessPal.  It has my maintenance calories a little low at 2072 and has me at 1679 to lose 1 pound a week but I decided to let the coach figure it out for me as the weeks go by.

I had to choose the "Plant-Based" setting to be able to lower my protein down to 90 grams but I'm thankful that they do have that setting because "Balanced" only allows me to go as low as 114g and that was NOT going to work for me, that's too much protein!

I'm also not sure if I chose the right exercise setting - it was either moderate or intense and I chose moderate because I exercise 5-6 days a week, not everyday as the intense setting requires but I do 4 days of hiking and sometimes I'm hiking for almost 2 hours, so maybe I should choose intense??

I'm starting at 161 pounds on my old scale, 165.4 pounds on my new digital scale and 23.5% body fat, though I think that is about 2% off and I'm probably more around 25.5% body fat.  I also did my measurements today and will do those once a week.  I put my weight goal at 150 pounds but I am not aiming for a certain number because I will know when I'm at goal based on my measurements.  At 120 pounds of lean body mass currently, I'm thinking 145-150 is probably going to be the best range for me.

I have successfully maintained my weight now for 1 year!  I haven't posted lately because life was a little difficult but things are starting to smooth out now.  I've not pursued trying to lose any more weight but I hope to after Christmas.  I haven't had to track for months and have successfully learned how to maintain and not have to be bound by tracking.  I'm so thankful that I have been able to do so because it is so freeing!!

I do eventually want to get back to losing 15-20 more pounds but I am enjoying my new body and enjoying my great success at maintenance and being able to eat so much food and not gain the weight back!  My main goal has been to keep my metabolism up and I have attained that.  Anyone can lose weight but not many can keep it off because they destroyed their metabolism in the dieting process and to maintain, they'd have to eat small amounts of food forever.  I didn't want that, so I am glad I made sure to do refeeding and focus on eating ENOUGH food to keep my metabolism on fire.

I finished my 2nd week of my cut and I'm down -1.2 pounds!  I was surpised I lost so much because I went WAY over my calories last Saturday on day 1 of my week and ate 2616 calories.  My 7-day average for this past week was 1892 calories, so I didn't do too bad on average thankfully.  I also didn't exercise as I expected to, so my deficit wasn't even 500 calories, more like 250 calories maybe but I still lost and that's great!

Time will tell if this MATADOR metabolic reset really works for me personally.  If you look at when I started this to reset my metabolism, I was at 162.0 and then I ate at 2300 calories for 2 weeks and went up to 164.6.  Now, at 2 weeks later of my cut, I'm down to 161.6.  So, I have lost a total of 0.4 if you go by the very beginning of this experiment, as you can see in the chart below.  However, remember, it's about more than just pounds!  This is about resetting my metabolism for the long-term and being able to eat more and still lose and I'm accomplishing that finally.

First week on cut and down -1.8 pounds. I believe it would have been more based on the trajectory until I took off exercising since Wednesday; but I need a week off exercise!

July was a success because I had consistent exercise, I started the MATADOR experiment and ate at maintenance for 2 weeks and reset my metabolism.  I'm still tracking my old scale and new scale because they are so different and it helps to see since I was so used to the older scale from the beginning of my journey.  

Here is my July calendar of calories eaten, exercise done and scale weight:

I'm on the 5th day of my cut down to 1800 calories and it has been very difficult.  The crazy thing is, before I upped my calories to 2300 for 2 weeks, eating 1800 calories was never hard, I actually was comfortable at 1700 calories before.  So, it goes to show that you can reset your metabolism by raising it and then drop back down and find those calories are really low for you.  Also, pretty much all the weight that I gained the 2 weeks of maintenance is now gone already:

Yesterday completed my 2-week maintenance of eating 2300 calories a day.  It was difficult to eat that much food up until the 10th day when I started getting hungry and then it became extremely easy.  I expected to gain 3-6 pounds while my body leveled out at maintenance but as you can see below, I only gained 2.6 pounds.  I lost an entire inch off my body (neck, waist, hip) and gained 1/2 inch (thigh and calf).  

Here is the summary of my results for this 2-week period:

Scale gain = +2.6 pounds

Inches lost = 1 inch 

Inches gained = 1/2 inch

Here is my weight chart for the past 2-weeks as I went from 162.0 to 164.6 (my old scale went from 158-161):

I think doing this experiment has been one of the best things I've ever done for my health.  My entire mindset has settled down and I'm no longer fearing weight gain or eating more food.  I realized that for the first time in my life, I am eating enough food every day consistently.  I was always an under-eater and it was probably only the few days of eating fast food I ate weekly that kept me at the weight I was at in the past.  

I've already blogged about how medication caused my weight gain a few times in my life but my pregnancies did also, even the ones I lost.  I know that my anorexia and bulimia from my late teens had a lot of things to do with why I chronically under-eat.  To think here I am at age 43 still dealing with this is sad but at least I'm understanding more now!

I think I've found my magic number of 2300 calories.  It took me about 10 days to feel comfortable eating this much but now I'm easily eating this and even hungry often.  I'm assuming that is a sign that my metabolism has risen and my body has leveled out and I could probably go higher right now in my calories but I am going to instead do my deficit starting this Saturday.  I hope I don't regret this but I do know that in 4 weeks when I go back into maintenance, I need to take a week off weight training, as I try to do every 12 weeks.  At some point, I also need a week off hiking and these exercise breaks do wonders for my body!  Exercise is stress on your body and causes inflammation and our bodies do better with a week of rest periodically.

I've used a lot of calculators and formulas to try and figure out my theoretical BMR and TDEE.  The average for me seems to be around 1470 BMR and then add in roughly 70 calories extra for the muscle I have and I imagine my BMR is 1540.  That is what I need if in a coma state to survive.  Then, you have to add in NEAT, which is what you do each do like getting dressed, brushing your teeth, making food, etc. which can be around 500 more calories for me and that brings me to 2040.  Then you add TEF, or the thermic effect of the food you eat.  I eat a lot of foods with fiber and it takes more energy to break these down and Chronometer says I burn close to 200 calories a day TEF and that now brings me to 2240.  Add on my workouts, which are almost always 250+ burned and most days I exercise I'm around 2490-2700 calories TDEE.  Since I only workout 5 days a week on average, I went with 2300 calories weekly average for my maintenance.  It is probably still too low (?) but I had to have something to aim for and that was more than enough for me at this point.

BMR + NEAT + TEF + EXERCISE = TDEE

1540 + 500 + 200 + 250 = 2490

It has been a struggle to eat enough and get 2300 calories every day but my appetite is finally picking up and I didn't have to force feed myself yesterday!  I was also able to get in more calories Monday by making a personal size pizza late at night and here are my calories so far this week:

Saturday - 2512
Sunday - 2069
Monday - 2289

I am trying my best to eat 2300 calories for my maintenance but is actually very difficult for me because I'm so full!  I literally force feed myself some days.  This reminds me of when I first started WW last May and how I had to force feed myself that first week because I thought I "had" to eat all my dailies and weeklies.  I went from eating 900-1300 calories a day before WW up to 1500 on average and then I slowly made it up to 1900 by December when I worked on raising my metabolism when I quit WW and started counting calories... and now here I am trying to eat 2300.  Sure, I had days here and there where I hit 2300 or more in the past but not day after day like this.  I've actually never been an overeater, I've always battled undereating and gained most of my weight on medication throughout the years and/or a messed up, slow metabolism.  It probably stems from when I was anorexic and bulimic in my late teens.

Here's what I've eaten the past 3 days for my second week of maintenance:

Saturday - 2512

Sunday - 2069

Monday - 2100 (working on trying to eat up to 2100 tonight)

Currently, my average is only at 2227 calories this week so far.  I'm hoping I can bring it closer to 2300 by week's end but again, it is difficult to eat this much.  Maybe I need to bring my maintenance down to 2200?  I never thought eating more would be so hard.  Eating Saturday was easier because I did a hike during the day and then later in the evening I did a 90-minute garage workout with some dance and rowing and back/abs strength training.  Sunday was my rest day, so I don't push myself to get the full 2300 and then today (Monday), I was too busy doing errands and then it stormed when I was going to hike, so it is a rest day and I'm pushing myself to try and get in at least 2100 tonight.

Here's a look at my weight the past few days:

I completed my first week eating at my desired maintenance of close to 2300 calories a day!  The actual average was 2265 calories.  This was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do. I overcame a lot of fear this week with food and eating. I trusted the science (even though it's a theory lol) and forged ahead day after day so scared I'd end up a whale at the end of this week.

Not only did I not end up a whale but I shrank across my body!!

-1/4 inch Neck
-1/4 inch Bust
-1/4 inch Waist
-1/4 inch High Hip

I did gain in some unimportant places - +1/4 inch under bust and +1/4 inch in calf. I imagine the under bust is just from the sheer amount of extra food my body is processing. The calf is probably from the intense leg workout Thursday night and the hill climbing from yesterday's hike.

On my old scale I stayed the same at 158. On my fancy new smart scale, I am up exactly 1.0 pounds at 163.0. And that is most definitely the extra food and its glycogen stores of water.

To say I'm ecstatic is actually an understatement!! To know I can eat at the maintenance I desire is pure bliss to me.

I have had an analog scale all throughout my weight loss until now!  I finally got a digital scale and opted to go with the FDA-approved Renpho Smart Scale and I got it for $20 on Amazon surprisingly.  I had watched a lot of videos from health professionals on how close to body fat % this scale is compared to a DEXA scan.  It seems to be within -2%.  So, I add 2% on to whatever reading it gives me and that puts me at around 25% body fat, which is what I thought I was based on my past history in fitness in my 20's.  I did have to set it to athlete mode because I workout 5-6 days a week.

However, this scale puts me 4 pounds higher than my old scale - EEK!  It was upsetting at first but then I realized, it is just a number!!  I can always subtract 4 pounds and make myself feel better if needed in the future or hop on my old scale for a mental health boost lol.  What I like about this scale is it gives me more than just 1 pound up or 1 pound down - I get .4 or .8, etc.  That has proven to be so eye-opening to me as I have used this scale for about a week now.  I try and weigh the same time every day - in the morning after using the bathroom and walking around for a few minutes to make sure my fluids are where they should be after laying in bed all night.

Here is all the data it shows you and tracks on the main window:

You can see how my weight naturally fluctuates from day to day with their comparison tool:

I feel like my problems are now explained after coming across the MATADOR study!  I now understand what has happening to me.  My body has been adapting to the calorie level I stay at and then it stops losing.  It is called metabolic adaptation and the way to prevent this is to eat at maintenance for a week or two after 2-3 weeks of a deficit.  Anyone that has been dieting for too long obviously has metabolic adaptation.  That is why you hear people saying that they can't eat more than 1200 calories or they gain weight.  They have been a deficit for so long that their bodies adapted to 1200 calories being their maintenance.

What is amazing is that you CAN increase your maintenance calories and/or metabolism!  It's also called reverse dieting - gradually upping your intake by 50-100 calories every week until you reach your maintenance level.  I decided to just go ahead and go from 1700 to 2300.  So far, it is going well, I was losing weight at the beginning and we will see how this goes.  I'm finding it very difficult however to eat 2300 calories without adding in junk - so I bought some organic fruity loops cereal, chips, some healthy mac and cheese and other higher calories foods to enjoy as I eat in maintenance for 1-2 weeks.  Then, I will drop down to just 1800 for 2-3 weeks and then back up again to 2300 for a week and repeat.  

You can get a more in-depth explanation about this in this video I came across where she explains it very well: https://youtu.be/y_RXVFl_aWs

What I have learned is if you stay in a deficit for longer than 4 weeks you will most likely experience metabolic adaptation.  That is why so many start a deficit or a new diet and do great the first month and then things slow down.  According to the study, all they need to do is actually take a week and eat higher at maintenance and then get right back to their deficit for up to 3 weeks.  

This will not only help you when you transition to eating at maintenance when you are done losing weight but it will help you be able to eat like a normal human being and not be forever stuck at a TOO LOW calorie level to maintain your weight!  And your body needs this extra fuel, so you can't afford to consume so little every day for the rest of your life.  You won't have energy and you will start to have health problems and your skin won't look as good and your body won't perform as well on lower calories.

I will do updates as I go but right now I'm loving it and feeling great peace!  This is my answer to so many questions I've had about my journey.

My little experiment of lowering my calories down to 1450 really flopped!  Not only was I was so weak and every day was depressing - but my hair even started falling out.  It really is amazing how quick my body and thyroid starts having issues when I reduce my calories by too much.  Not only did it do all that but my ghrelin must have also increased because I became so ravenous that I ate over maintenance for days!  The scale is actually up 3 pounds even to 159 - just like any time in the past when I didn't eat enough food.

So, after a 5-day piggie fest of overeating, my leptin must have kicked in and calmed down my hunger and I was able to eat 1700 calories and I feel so much better.  I just can't drop below 1700 with all the exercise I do - I think my body has let me really understand that once again.  I have to just ACCEPT the fact that these last 10-15 pounds will be slow-going and probably 1/4-1/2 a pound a week.  I have fully accepted that and am at peace with it now.

Weight loss is a journey and a mental fight.  We all want to lose weight quicker and then when we get so close to our desired weight, we want to get there yesterday!  That can cause us to try and make it quicker by cutting our food too much and then we risk health issues, ghrelin turns up and we're ravenous and never satisfied and of course - the hair falling out.  It's just not worth it.

I got curious as to how much I hiked this past year and also, how many days and minutes I hiked each month.

⭐ 2022
June - 11 days, 557 minutes
July - 14 days, 649 minutes
August - 14 days, 640 minutes
September - 6 days, 238 minutes
October - 13 days, 817 minutes
November - 10 days, 470 minutes
December - 7 days, 491 minutes

⭐ 2023
January - 11 days, 717 minutes
February - 9 days, 601 minutes
March - 12 days, 910 minutes
April - 15 days, 809 minutes
May - 13 days, 653 minutes
June - 16 days so far, 825 minutes so far


⭐8376 hiked minutes; 140 hours total

⭐151 days hiked

It is good to know your numbers when it comes to weight loss because it really is all about the math!  It takes a deficit of 3500 calories to lose 1 pound.  You get that through a daily deficit of food intake (calories) and you can also burn calories through exercise.  I burn on average about 1,800 calories a week through exercise, so if I want to lose 1 pound a week, I have to cut my food down the other 1700 calories - 243 calories less a day.  

Lately, instead of going by my maintenance calories of around 2250, I decided to go by my Active Metabolic Rate (AMR), which is 1720 without exercise.  It is higher depending on what method you use to calculate it but I decided to go by this particular one.  So, I take 1720 and subtract those 243 calories a day I need to decrease so that I can lose a pound a week.  That gives me 1477 but I am going with 1450 to make it easier.

I just started 1450 calories on Sunday and am excited to see if this will help me finish my weight loss by September hopefully!  I wasn't sure what scale weight I needed to aim for because my goals are losing inches in bust, waist and hips.  I'm guessing that my scale weight will be around 140-145 when I reach my desired inches for those areas.  I wanted to see what will I have to eat to maintain those weights.  It is always nice to know if what you are aiming for is going to be something you can maintain and do you really want to eat that low to keep that small?

Currently, I'm up a pound from weight training my legs (which I had stopped for several months but recently added back in), but I started with 155 to make it easier:

⭐ 155 pounds maintain:

1714 no exercise
1964 with exercise 1-3 days/week
2213 with exercise 3-5 days/week

I decided to make a paper copy of the meals I normally eat for breakfast, lunch and after dinner and the calories for each meal.  It has been very helpful lately now that I'm aiming to eat around 1450 calories to lose about a pound a week and hopefully be done with weight loss by the end of summer.  Dinners are with the family and it varies every day and I usually build my day around dinner.  For instance, if I'm having a 500 calorie dinner, I then know that I will only have 950 calories for the other 3 meals of the day, or roughly 315 calories each.  However, I rather prefer to keep my dinners around 400, to give me a bit more during the day and after dinner.  It really all depends on how I feel each day - some days, I am more hungry than others.

These are my data calendars for June 2022 through June 2023. It includes how many points I ate a day or calories, the exercise I did, weight loss and inches lost. Some days I didn't track, so it will be blank. I also took off part of February-April to maintain. I lost my consistency with food when WW changed plans in mid-November and I also found it hard to to stick with my food after my husband lost his job in January.  I have been off and on again with my food consistency since late April to current day.

• Eat enough food! Whatever you do, don't think that undereating will serve you well. Not only will you slow your metabolism down, risk thyroid dysfunction, losing muscle and then the weight will come on fast when you stop because who can maintain by eating the little you will have to eat without gaining!? WW has calculated your needs and you can eat all your dailies, weeklies and fit points and a good amount of zero foods and still lose. Anything less is more than likely undereating and you can use Chronometer free app to check your calorie intake.
• Eat every 2-4 hours while you are awake up until 2 hours before you sleep. I always eat 4 meals a day and I don't snack. I only eat 12 hours of the day, for instance I eat either from 10-10, 11-11 or 12-12 - it all depends on my sleep or what time I finally eat breakfast. So, say I eat breakfast at 11am, meal 2 would be at 3, meal 3 at 7 and meal 4 at 11pm. This not only helps your metabolism and blood sugar but it will keep you FULL and you won't need to snack in between; if you are eating enough at each meal.
• Balance your meals out! Never eat a banana or an egg or anything else by itself. Always eat a carb, protein and fat in every meal, even snacks. Don't ever eliminate one of these because your body needs all these things to function properly. I eat 50% carbs, 30% fat and 20% protein. I've listed foods I eat almost daily below in a list.
• Stay CONSISTENT! Although you can have a negative week or day every now and then and I have, you can't let it become the norm because you will end up in a cycle that will discourage you. Consistency is really key!

It's been 6 weeks since I came back to WW to whittle off a little more. I only followed the plan 4 weeks where I didn't go negative. Despite that, I had impressive shrinkage off my body!

Total inches lost this 6-week period was -5 3/4 inches!  That's even with the fall and injury to my leg/ankle 2 1/2 weeks ago that caused me to cut down my exercise and intensity as well. Here's where it came off:

Neck -1/2 inch
Under Bust -3/4 inch
Bust -1/2 inch
Waist -1 inch
High hip -1 inch
Low hip -1 inch
Thigh - 1/2 inch
Calf 0
Bicep - 1/4 inch
Forearm -1/4 inch

To lose a whole inch off my middle and hips is worth it! No wonder I was able to fit recently in size 4 dresses!

The scale only showed a 3 pound loss over 6 weeks but it is moving down.

⭐ My goals going forth are to see 2-3 inches off my bust, 3-4 inches off my waist and 1-2 inches off my hips. It may take all summer but it'll be worth it!

I really thought I was done and at goal but I realized over the past few months that I would like to lose a little more in my top half, so I signed up again for WW for $10 a month.  For some reason, WW helps me eat enough food, more healthy food and lose weight, whereas with calories, I'm always tempted to eat less and not the healthiest foods.  I feel so much more relaxed doing WW and with the zero foods, I feel free to have those whenever I want extra, especially with fruit!!

I'm averaging 2000-2100 calories right now on WW and back to losing!  Inches and scale weight is gradually going down the past few weeks and I'm happy.  I do have a few days here and there where I stop counting points to eat high point foods that are not high in calories like a breakfast sandwich and chai tea but for the most part, I'm on plan eating all my dailies and all my weeklies, including exercise points.

What really disturbs me is the amount of posts on WW from people that are literally starving their bodies.  the chase to see a number on the scale is destroying some people.  If only the message that IT IS more than just pounds could permeate their minds!  That is why tracking measurements is so important and taking pictures, so you can see changes that don't register on the scale.  For instance, look at me - I only lost 27 pounds on WW but dropped from an 18 to a 6 in a short few months.  I literally built muscle and lost fat at the same time.  Overall I went from a size 20 to a 6 and lost 42 pounds.

I'm a testimony that you can indeed stay obese by not eating enough food.  I was 200 pounds and through not eating enough food, my body compensated by depriving non-essential processes of energy and thereby lowering my basal metabolic rate (BMR).  In other words, my metabolism was excruciatingly slow and I had no energy because my body sure wasn't going to let me get off the couch unless I gave it more food.  I felt like every day was a struggle to just live.

I started hiking to try and save my life in 2019 after getting myocarditis (heart infection) from the worst virus I've ever had!  The virus itself almost took my life and my fever was unrelenting but I survived but my heart was not making it and myocarditis had set in.  The cardiologist told my husband and I that it would take a miracle or I'd need a heart transplant.  He said there was NOTHING that I could do.  You don't tell someone with my God (and my personality) that there is nothing you can do LOL!  I decided to die trying and started hiking in May 2019.  I could barely make 5-10 minutes and oh my the fatigue!  I just kept going and somehow dropped 15 pounds from burning off that fat, even though I was still eating barely enough food to live.

Then, I started eating more in May 2022 and just like that, I dropped weight continuously for 12 weeks!  I had SO MUCH ENERGY from eating more food that I was able to exercise 5-9 hours every week.  My entire life changed and my heart got even better and I no longer suffer from debilitating heart pain.  I was able to eat double what I ate at 200 pounds and still lose.  I also upped my weight training and packed on some nice muscle while losing fat simultaneously.

After declaring myself at goal on March 1st at 158 pounds and realizing WW was never going to acknowledge that as good enough, I quit WW on March 11th.  For my height of 5'4, they said I should weigh no more than 146 pounds.  Even though I'm a size 6 and have a lot of muscle, WW made me feel fat.  It reminded me of the waif culture I grew up that caused my anorexia and bulimia where I was never thin enough.

Today, I go to the mailbox and imagine my surprise when I got this:

I don't know why they sent it but it sure made me happy and I stuck it on my keychain with my other pounds lost charms:

Before you read about how I lost my weight, go ahead and read My Body Story if you haven't had already, which will tell you how I gained my weight to begin with.

I didn't change anything about my diet in 2019 but I started hiking.  Through hiking alone, I lost my first 15 pounds.  Now, I wasn't eating enough at the time, which had evidently slowed my metabolism down enormously.  I had just assumed I couldn't lose any more weight because of menopause from my hysterectomy that I had several years before.  After I lost the first 15 pounds through hiking, it all stopped, despite continued occasional hiking and I was stuck at 185 pounds for almost 2 years.

Then, I decided to not only up the exercise by hiking more and starting weight training once a week but I also joined WW at the end of May 2022.  I honestly assumed that we had to eat all our points - dailies and weeklies - before the week was up, so I did just that.  I was so full that I literally crammed food in and thought for sure there is no way this is going to work.  Imagine my surprise when I lost 2 pounds that first week and then continued to lose and by 12 weeks I was down, not only pounds but also dramatically went from a size 18 to a 6 on bottom and a 2X to a M/L on top!  I had a cheeseburger and fries or other fast food meal once a week every week and I ate 4 meals, every 3-4 hours every day.  I believe this all helped to fire up my metabolism and increase my calorie burn and BMR (basal metabolic rate).  I was also building muscle slowly through weight training once a week and I had increased my hiking to some weeks going 4-5 times!

WW changed their plan from Personal Points to a new plan in November 2022 and it really knocked me off my game and I ended up stopping counting points and turning to counting calories and macros instead.  I also upped my weight training to 3 days a week during that same time.  I went on to put on more muscle than I've ever had in my life and losing fat simultaneously, which was visible in the progress pics I kept.  Through January and February alone of this year, I was able to reduce my back fat significantly.  I felt like I was done and needed a break and have been maintaining my weight until this past week when I made the decision to continue my journey until June.  My goal is hopefully to see a reduction in abdominal fat as I finish up my journey and then focus on maintaining.

I'm a little short on time lately but I do have a lot of plans in mind for this blog.  I was contacted recently to tell a part of my life story and when I came in to do so, they also wanted to do a photoshoot right then.  It was a little overwhelming and took me off guard but I'm so happy to inspire more people.  This particular story will reach a minimum of 40,000 people they said in my area and even more online.  It is only a small part of my story and even my last post about My Body Story is only but a small part of what I've had to face in my life.  I'm not sure how detailed I want to get in the future but my goal is always to give people hope!

I would like to post more about my diet and how I eat, keeping your metabolism running fast and efficiently and even dealing with the mental aspect of trying to love your body in this recent culture that glorifies thinness.  I grew up with that waif culture and it was one reason why I became bulimic and then anorexic at 16 years old.  I hate that it is recently making a comeback where curves are out and rail thin is in.  I believe this will only harm girls and women even more as their body image becomes their being and that is a depressing road to walk on.  It has been proven that being underweight is just as deadly as obesity.  We have to consider our body shape, genetics and how fat cell storage locations varies from woman to woman in order to keep ourselves from unachievable fads.

I also want to blog on fitness and how blood flow is probably what will keep you alive the longest and bring a healthier body and even skin.  Exercise helps you increase your blood flow and is crucial.  However, too much can create a stress environment on your insides and keep you in an inflammatory state.  There is a balance here and that is something I plan on talking more about.

I was always very slender growing up and when I became a teenager and started growing larger in places, I panicked! I ended up with anorexia and bulimia - yes, I had both together. It got so bad that I had to be hospitalized at 16. I was 98 pounds (5'4) but saw myself in the mirror as huge. Kids at school were always asking my sister was I dying because I looked so frail. In the hospital they taught me how to eat properly and I had to gain up to 125 pounds before I was released, if memory serves me correctly.

From then on, I didn't have struggles with my weight because I was very active with dancing and then went in the US Air Force. After I got out of the AF, I packed on weight fast because I was in a very bad situation at the time and also had been on steroids 3 months for shingles. I ended up around 200 pounds and a size 20. I started studying an ACE Fitness textbook and a college book on nutrition and I developed my own plan and lost 60 pounds on my own simply eating clean, calorie counting and exercising.

Then, I got pregnant with my daughter shortly after reaching a healthy weight. I ate a lot during pregnancy and gained the weight back. After I had my daughter, I did the same thing I had done before and lost weight but got stuck around 168 pounds. It was then that I signed up with WW in 2004. I went on to make goal of 146. Around that time I started training with a trainer that was also a fitness competitor. She taught me all about weight training and eating enough food. I increased my food intake, started heavy weight training and increased cardio and got even smaller down to a size 4! However, despite being smaller in size, my weight went from 142 up to 150 and I didn't make lifetime and quit WW.

I eventually stopped training because I got liver issues from a combination of things - extreme caffeine intake with supplements/coffee among other things and I put the weight back on and would lose some of it and then gain again from my many health problems. I then went through a decade of trauma. In that decade, I went through 5 surgeries, lost 3 organs, lost 4 babies (one was 5 months along), became disabled, had my son, had a hysterectomy, suffered a traumatic brain injury and permanent brain damage from a car accident and from all that (and a shoebox full of medication) - I got up to 200 pounds and a size 20.

I had to get physical therapy on my entire body - all the bed rest had given me atrophy and there was always something putting me back in bed. Slowly, I did PT on separate areas and over the years I studied and took courses on herbal medicine and worked my way off ALL my medication, every single one. Then, I got myocarditis in 2019 from a flu that almost took my life. It was then, I decided to start hiking. I was going to die trying to live! By some miracle, I didn't die! My last hospitalization was 2021. I hiked 2-3 days a week and lost 15 pounds. I was intuitively eating 80% clean food but upon examination, I was only eating 900-1300 calories a day. I was stuck at 185 for almost 2 years and still struggling with my brain damage issues. I thought I was forever stuck because of menopause probably from my 2015 hysterectomy and just now had a slow metabolism.

I got COVID in Nov. 2021 and somehow it began to heal my brain after excruciating facial pain for 3 days. I started being able to do things I was supposed to never be able to do! (They're researching how this happened, evidently I'm the only case). I got so much better that I decided to try WW on May 26th, 2022 to see if maybe I could lose the rest of the weight. I started eating more food and I was so full!  I began to drop weight almost every single week on WW and NEVER had a gain the first few months. I went from a size 18 to a 6 in just 12 weeks! I still continued losing and never gaining until the new plan came out in November and I gained 4 pounds the first week on it. I then decided to take time off WW and track my calories and macros, as I was being told my dietician that I was consuming too much protein on the new plan and it was affecting my kidneys.

The past 3 months I ate 1800-1900 calories a day (double what I ate when I was 200 pounds!) and my body shrunk even more, especially my arms, face and neck! I gained muscle because I had also increased my weight training to 3 days a week on average but my weight stayed ultimately at 158 with ups and downs.

That's my very abbreviated story!  I'm the happiest and the fittest I've ever been in my life!

Here is a video slideshow of a lot of the foods I ate on WW: